Hello Moms and Dads of America!!! Now, I know that parenting leaves us with more questions than answers, but how would you like a product that could change all of that?? Well, it's finally here...for potty training anyway!! That's right, all you ever wanted to know about the theories of, the dos (pun intended) and do nots, and the troubleshooting tricks of potty training are right here inside the book "Oh Crap Potty Training" by Jamie Glowacki!! What's her method?? That's the secret: THERE IS NO METHOD!!!! Am I blowing your mind yet? That's right, for only the low, low cost of $15 you too can download a digital copy of her book and have your 20-30 month old child potty trained with little to no trouble at all! BUT WAIT! Call now because the next 100 callers will also receive the corresponding booklet "How to Explain to Complete Strangers Why Your Child Isn't Wearing Underwear" absolutely free! That's a $17.99 value for just $15! Let's get a testimonial from an actual child that was trained using this method!
"Dah." -Little Mister Esber
That's right folks! Even a child with a vocabulary that rivals Charlie Chaplin's in film can appreciate just how spectacular this book is! So call now!! This advertisement is not paid nor endorsed by Oh Crap Potty Training or Jamie Glowacki. Results are not guaranteed, products are non-returnable especially if used or referenced while in the bathroom. Little Mister Esber is not a paid spokesperson, but is an extremely easy child in general so results are not typical. Don't hold me to this endorsement if any additional child I may at some point acquire is not an easy potty trainer, as I am fully aware that I must pay the piper at some point in my parenting career.
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Next up on the infomercial agenda today, we have a product just for those of us with "special" haircare needs. Are you one of the millions of people who struggle everyday with your hair? Has your grandmother ever bought you a hairbrush for Valentine's Day? Does your husband put kitchen sink strainers over every shower drain in your house to prevent going broke from buying Drain-O? Have you ever had someone say, "I saw an old picture of you, boy was your hair frizzy!!" and you're pretty sure your hair looks EXACTLY the same today as it did in the picture she's referencing?? If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions, then the Deva Curl haircare products are for you!!! First, go to the Curly Girl website and find out what 'type' of curl your hair is...then boom! They come through your internet connection and recommend products just for you!! Seriously, these products are a life changer for women who have struggled with curly hair all their lives!! For just $19.99 a bottle, your hair...and therefore your confidence...will be transformed! Call now and we'll also include a bottle of our famous Deva Curl No Poo for only an additional $19.99 (plus shipping and handling). Your beautiful head of hair is waiting, so don't delay, call now!!! Deva Curl is not responsible for the content of this advertisement. Results may vary, especially if you are currently using a shampoo above grocery store grade level (our hair model is a big fat cheap-o and was not.) Products will not make your grandmother understand that you don't brush curly hair or your Drain-O bill any less expensive. Offer not valid in Michigan, where the well water does not get your hair clean enough for the No Poo to work and you just end up looking like a big grease-ball for a week.
Okay, okay, so maybe these products don't warrant a 30 minute infomercial on a Saturday morning. All I know is that my 21 month old little mister is potty trained and my hair looks respectable. And that means at least I'll know my hair looks good the next time someone stares at me for not making my child wear underwear in public. Yep, totally respectable...
