Merry Advent to All; And to All a Good Night!

It's been a while since I blogged...I'd like to say it's because I haven't had anything to write about; but if you're one of the 3 people who actually read this blog, your response to that would likely be, "that's never stopped you before" and then we'd just stand here in awkward silence.  No, it's because I've barely been holding onto my sanity for the past 6 months or so...but after this past month I'd say it's safe to say I have officially lost it completely.

In October my mom, my Little Mister, and I were perusing Meijer's assortment of holiday (and by that, I clearly mean Christmas...by that time decorations had been in the stores for months) merchandise when my mother happened upon this "Advent" train:

If the pumpkin next to Santa bothers you, then you are probably the reason I included it.  You know who you are. 

(I'm putting "Advent" in quotes because the train is really just counting down the days in December until Christmas, whereas Advent actually begins the fourth Sunday before Christmas.  Don't say you never learned anything from my blog.)

My mom (of course) wanted to buy it for the Little Mister - thinking that I'd put candy in each drawer and that would be that.  She really should have known better (I am a dentist, for goodness sakes) and I (of course) devised 24 needlessly complex "Advent" activities that would cause me to lose my marbles over the course of an already stressful month.  Here are the highlights...

December 1: I successfully navigate Pinterest (a small miracle for me) and find a cute Baby Jesus in a manger project.  For straw, it suggests tearing strips of paper.  After tearing 2 pieces of yellow construction paper, the box is nowhere near filled and the Little Mister is losing interest.  Enter my first genius idea for the month - introducing my 2 year old to the paper shredder.  I spend the rest of the day vacuuming up tiny bits of paper strewn about my house. 

December 3: In a move to prove I'm not a total monster, I did put candy in about every 4th drawer.  Today, the Little Mister discovers this...and proceeds to open all the drawers and empty the ones with candy.  And then eat it.  All.of.it.  Meanwhile, I am preoccupied cooking a healthy dinner of spinach and mushroom quiche.  Oh the irony...

What chocolate???

December 6:  We get to see Santa at my Grandmother's nursing home party.  We practice all day for what he wants to ask for - a bike and a new board game.  Once Santa arrives, the Little Mister announces that he wants me to tell Santa what he wants.  At least he got semi-close to jolly old Saint Nick, as last year he stood across the room staring.  I'm counting it as a victory.

Through the magic of photo editing, it almost looks like he's actually on Santa's lap.

December 7:  Our church does "Blessing Bags" every year that the congregation fills with food for a charity in our area.  The Little Mister did a great job shopping for the food...so great in fact, that when it came time to donate the food, he was still trying to figure out the puzzle on the back of the box of Life cereal.  Which wouldn't have been a big deal, but we had to drop the food off at the front of our church's sanctuary...right as the service was starting (because clearly the Esbers cannot get anywhere on time, let alone early).  No picture for this one...I hope you'll excuse me for not stopping to snap a pic as I pried a cereal box from my crying toddler's hands in front of 300 people and then promptly escorted him out of the room.    

December 10:  My grandparents used to get homemade candy from this quaint little candy shop in Columbus that's been open at least 6 decades.  Today, I wanted to continue the tradition by taking my son to the exact same shop and letting him pick a piece of mouth-watering, homemade candy.  Then we would skip down the sidewalk together as we ate the candy and he would tell me what an awesome mom I am (hey, I can dream).  As soon as we enter the store, he heads straight to the very small display of commercial candy in the corner...and picks out a roll of Mentos.  Embarrassed, as the store's only employee and I were discussing my family's history with the store and why (exactly) we drove 45 minutes to get there for this special occasion, I put it back and walk him over to the glass cases full of delicious looking chocolate candies.  He runs back to the Mentos...then proceeds to fling my words right back at me: "you said I could have anything I wanted!!!!!!"  "Okay, but you won't like it!" I (maturely) retort.  I purchase the pack of Mentos (and some back-up candy, I'm not totally stupid) and we proceed to exit onto the sidewalk, where instead of skipping he puts a Mentos into his mouth, chews for 20 seconds, makes a horrible face and spits it out.  "I don't like it." he declares.  "Just (deep breath)...just get back in the car, Buddy."  Sigh...

December 13:  This is the first day I cheat and change the predetermined activity.  Reindeer pancakes aren't supposed to happen until the 20th...but I decide I want them for breakfast today and the Little Mister can't read yet to tell me that's not what the card says.  Mommy win.

December 17:  Christmas cookie day!!  One of my good friends and her daughter come over to bake and decorate Christmas cookies.  My friend and I get to chatting and I lose track of how much frosting / how many cookies the Little Mister has eaten.  I deeply regret this later as the sugar buzz lasts the rest of the day, followed by the massive crash about an hour before bedtime.

December 19:  I forget to put the Christmas book under the tree for today's activity before I go to work.  Patrick and I are exhausted after work and there is no food in the house, so we decide to cheat again and say that today's activity is going out to dinner.  The Little Mister chooses the place (Bob Evans, natch) and we're off.  Only to be leaving with boxed up dinners and our heads hung in shame about 45 minutes later.  Apparently Patrick and I were too exhausted to remember the Esber family rule #6 - do not attempt to take the Little Mister out of the house on Attitude Adjustment Friday.  Which is every Friday.  Here's a picture from the parking lot:

Don't let the smile fool you...

December 20:  We officially "took away" today's Advent activity after the Bob Evan's disaster.  So claiming that he was missing out on "something waaaay more fun", we unofficially visited the awesome train exhibit in Delaware.  If there is something more fun for an almost 3 year old boy (and his dad) than looking at (and riding on!) trains, I have yet to find it...but he doesn't need to know that :)

December 22:  We continue our on-going project of wrapping gifts.  I'd like to blame the Little Mister entirely for the lack of presentation on the wrapping, but I just didn't have the energy to make them look any better.  I also attempted to pray with him for each of the recipients of the gifts...but he wanted to wrap the dogs' presents first and after wrapping and praying for 5 dogs, I was squarely in the 'just get this done!!' frame of mind.  The holiday better get here, fast.

December 25:  Finally!!  The Advent train is over Christmas is here!  My Little Snoop has shown his true colors this week and peeked at his gifts.  And working on sight words came back to bite me when he announced to his Grammy, "I think that's my bike!" after seeing a plain cardboard box in her garage with only the company's name (Islabike) on it.  But his favorite gift was a surprise from his Uncle Than...his very own chainsaw!  Just what every small boy needs.  At least it came with safety gear...

Of course it was all worth it in the end to experience Christmas through the eyes of a child who really "got" it for the first time this year.  Despite all the stress this month, I think Patrick and I did a pretty decent job making sure that the Little Mister knows that the season is about Jesus and His gift to the world.  We are so blessed as a family, and I am looking forward with great anticipation to 2015!  Where I am sure, come December, I will reload that Advent train and do it all again...