Stoned

Although I apparently am self-motivated enough to train for and finish a marathon, I appear to not be motivated enough to occasionally get a glass of water for myself.  Post marathon, I sort-of-half-heartedly-tried-to-kinda stay hydrated enough to recover.  But I failed.  Miserably.

About 10 days after the marathon, I started having a single symptom that I felt at the time was probably due to a urinary tract infection.  But, I wasn't having any other problems; so I went to the doctor, who assured me that it was not a UTI...but did not provide me with any other answers to why I was having a problem in the first place.  He referred me to a urologist, whom I made an appointment with for the following week, and that was that.

Until a few days later, when I woke up in the middle of the night with a cramp in my side and back.  At first, it didn't seem too major; I even went downstairs to Google my symptoms (you know, cause that always works...)  Eventually however, it got bad enough that I told my hubby I needed to go to to ER.  As we waited for my in-laws to come stay with our son, the pain got bad.  Then really bad.  Then really bad.  Then REALLY EXCRUCIATINGLY BAD. 

So at 4:30 in the morning, Patrick drove me to the ER.  I'm sure that was a fun drive for him.  I mean, while puking / barely retaining consciousness because of the pain, I was, no doubt, a wonderful conversationalist.  I think it went something like this:

Patrick:  Where should I park?
Me: VALET THE STUPID CAR!!!  I NEED PAIN MEDS!!!
Patrick:  I can't valet, I don't have any cash!
Me:  ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  JUST PARK THE DANG CAR!!!  NOW!!!!!!

You get the idea.  Well, the nice people at the ER got me the aforementioned pain meds...and my conversations got a lot, um, happier.  According to Patrick (because I sure don't remember it) the phone call to my boss went a little something like this:

Me (high pitched squeal): Hiiiii!!  Guess who has two thumbs and isn't coming to work today?!?!?!  THIS GIRL!!!!!!!! Hahahaha!!!
Dean:  Um, okay.  Well, you rest up.

A CT scan showed that I had a kidney stone, and that it had damaged my ureter on its way to my bladder.  And although I felt pretty good (who am I kidding...I felt really freakin' good) when I was on the dilaudid, when that wore off, the pain was still pretty severe from the damage.  So Patrick filled my pain med prescription and I begrudgingly took them.  Keep in mind that I am a light-weight in the drug department, so please accept my humblest apologies if you were one of the many people who got loopy text messages from me during this time.

So this experience has taught me a few things.  First, a lesson in personal responsibility.  Just because the marathon is ridiculous enough to not have water available at the finish line doesn't mean that I don't have to be diligent with my own hydration.  Second, a lesson in drug abuse.  Narcotics + cell phone = bad idea.  Third, a lesson in money management.  The ER smartly has an ATM right outside its door, so don't be afraid to valet when necessary.  Finally, a lesson in pain rankings.  Kidney stone > 10 lb baby > marathon.  If you don't believe me, just ask Patrick.  After all, his 'wife screaming at me' rankings look remarkably similar...


P.S.-  I have decided to periodically continue updating this blog.  Namely, when I have something interesting to write about.  I make no promises that any content will contain a bit of relevance.  :)